I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
