Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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