he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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