Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i may or may not be watching the land before time
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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