I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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