he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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