What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
