got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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