I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
