If that was your dad, he is hot
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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