white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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