Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize