It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
