I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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