worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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