My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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