JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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