I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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