I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
