im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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