Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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