i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
