If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize