he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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