Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
