so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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