he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
