i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
