OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
