He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
