She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
