Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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