STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
