After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
