Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
