Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
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I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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