It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
