The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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