somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize