I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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