And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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