Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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