I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
