bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
