so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
