I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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