He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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