it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
