I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
