he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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