I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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