just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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