Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
