i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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