Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
