Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
