Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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