my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
