i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
