the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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