party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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