I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
