So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize