dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Two words: nipple clamps
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