who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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