The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
