he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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