we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
